Force Watch: The Baby Sitter's Club/Lethal Weapon 1

Jmac:

So we watched The Baby Sitter’s Club from the 90s because Kmac wanted to hear my smart ass comments about it while we were watching it. She is supposed to post my funniest impressions in her post.

The Baby Sitter’s Club was silly, just plain silly. I feel bad for all the dads that had to sit through it back in the day. The only thing that made it bearable was playing the ‘hey what's that chick’s name, I've seen her in something?’ and the ‘will they be hot when they grow up’ game. Answer 60% of them are, and coincidentally the bad guy girl in the Baby Sitter’s Club is the bad guy girl in Sugar and Spice from last week’s Force Watch. I hope this is not becoming a trend.... I can't take much more.

Anyway the movie follows a group of girls, that laugh, then cry, then argue, then cry some more, then supposedly learn something meaningful about life, then laugh, and then cry again.... all while rearing the next generation in the same shenanigans. Silly silly girls. I really had a hard time finding the nugget of the story, or what was the driving force.... I still don't know. Some chick who tucks her shirts into her boxers.... that’s right into her boxers, because she is suuuccchhh a Tomboy and has to prove it to everyone, has her deadbeat dad show back up and this causes stress between her and everyone she knows, because he doesn't want her to tell people he's back. This while the girls are trying to fix up a greenhouse for a new office, which I guess is the driving force of the movie... I don't know. Of course in the end everything works out for everyone, because this is America Dammit!! and everything always works out in ‘Merica.

I was soooo bored, and please God don't let me have girls.... I don't understand them at all.

I give it 2.3 girls yelling at others while crying when its their fault out of 5.

Kmac:

Regardless of what Jmac kept telling me, I had seen Lethal Weapon. I didn’t care for it because it is one of the quintessential 80’s action movies...and I just do not do action movies. This movie has the good cop, who is too old for these shenanigans, and the bad cop, who is just straight unhinged. They fight various crimes while solving a bigger mystery and because it is the 80’s there is cocaine and boobs everywhere. Hmmm... I wonder why I didn’t like this movie.

I’ll give the movie this in that it has its funny moments. Mel Gibson’s brand of crazy has always been funny to me in movies. His real life crazy is a whole other ball of wax. In one scene Mel Gibson calmly walks through a hail of bullets with a cigarette dangling from his lips as if it was a regular day. He catches the bad guy and we all have a laugh at the crazy man defying the laws of probability.

I wish I had more to say about this movie but is a genre that has been redone over and over. If you like the modern buddy cop movie you will like its ancestor. If you don’t like the buddy cop movie then you may want to rent The Breakfast Club and enjoy a true 80’s classic.

I give this movie 2 out of 5 criminals who are terrible shots.

*** I will be gathering up Jmac’s witticisms for their own post later tonight. When he gets ranting, he just goes on and on. 

Dead Man Down

Jmac:

I sort of half hearted watched this one while doing other things, but it was nothing to write home about anyway. I'm not sure what I expected out of Terrance Howard and Colin Farrell trying to pull of a slight Hungarian accent, which the movie tries to explain by saying that that when he got to America he tried to lose it as quickly as possible.

Anyway this was a straightforward story of revenge and shoot’em up movie. Farrell’s family was killed by Howard’s character, so he is out for revenge, but along the way finds a woman he likes, or rather she finds him because she knows he’s a hitman. Its actually a slow movie, with very little character development outside the main three characters. Of course in the end the bad guys die and he gets the girl, and somehow on their subway ride home, both totally soaked and bleeding, no one says anything to them..... and this is in New York after 9/11 so Im pretty sure someone would have said something.

If you like action, this movie really is not for you except the last twenty minutes, sure there are other small action sequences but they are over far too quickly and usually end with a copout reason.

I give it 2.4 mentions of burning everything someone cares about out of 5.

A Good Day to Die Hard

Jmac:

Alright, so while I was stoked about this when it was first announced, and was still wanting to see it, I had not heard a lot of “OMGs” or “You have to go see this movie” from friends that had gone to see it in theaters. So while I still wanted to see it, I was a bit wary. This wary feeling turned out to be validated in the end.

One thing that really threw me off, was that I was expecting to see some of the scenes from the trailers..... scenes that did not show up. It could be the stupid restrictions on rental disks, and how they dont included the extended cuts, but then again if you show a scene in a trailer at least put it in the theatrical cut. The whole scene with the taxi driver was just his terrible singing and Bruce Willis attempting Russian... which came down to not be all that funny.

Another thing that I was looking for is pithy dialogue from Willis..... I saw none. We can all remember that scene from Die Hard I where Willis is in the air duct and say “Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs,” all while bleeding profusely from pretty much everywhere as he tries to fight ‘Hans Gruber...... who was Simon’s bro”. (Just a side note if you love the franchise you have to watch the Guyz Nite Die Hard Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa8_UiDfipA) Well there was none of that. No “yippie ki yay Mother***ers” even though one of the taglines for the movie was “Yippie Ki Yay Mother Russia.”

So the whole plot of the movie centers around Bruce Willis who travels to Russia because he thinks his son is a screw up and has gotten himself in jail. Once it is revealed that his son is actually a CIA agent, there are several car chases, fights with Hind helicopters, and bumbling through Pripyat, Ukraine; which some of you may know, some of you may not.... I guess i'm trying to stay away from spoilers. The movie is non-stop action which is actually a detriment to it, because as mentioned above, I think there should have been better dialogue, or at the very least a little more backstory. Just tell me why I’m supposed to hate the Russian billionaire Oligarchs.

In the end I enjoyed the movie, but was still let down because it was not the Die Hard of yester years, nor did it make any attempt to be. I will probably still purchase it when it gets cheaper just to placate my OCD need to round out genres.

I give it 3.2 khoroshos out of 5. 

Oh and since his boy, as he calls him in the movie is in the CIA, and I'm feeling lazy, its also Spy Day Friday.

Identity Thief

 

Kmac: 

Sometimes reading others reviews before watching a movie is a bad idea, she says as she writes the review. Going into this movie, which as a Melissa McCartney fan I was originally very excited about, I wasn’t sure what to think. I had read plenty of reviews when the film first hit theaters about why this movie was insulting to women or how the laughs were generated from McCartney’s size and not her talent. I spent the whole movie waiting for the moment that would have spurred all these reviews and in the end I came up empty. Maybe I just didn’t see it but I spent an entire funny movie hunting an insult I never found.

The movie is funny. A note for anyone who likes McCartney from TV the humor in this film is not the same as on CBS or sweet Sookie St. James from Gilmore Girls. This is a raunchy movie more in the style of Bridesmaids, if Bridesmaids involved a female criminal and car chases. I’ve never had a problem with this style of humor and so I welcomed this latest trend of female stars encroaching on what was once a boys club. Still fair warning for the less profanity inclined.

One problem I was anticipating was that McCartney’s performance would feel too close to what she had done in Bridesmaids. I don’t know why I doubted her. Her character for almost the entire movie gives you no reason to root for her and yet her performance makes you want to know how this woman ended up where she is as a thief and hope for her redemption. There is genuine hurt you feel for this woman with few friends or relationships. The Florida blue eye shadow and mega perm don’t help. You don’t want her to end up with Jason Bateman’s character, who is married and thankfully the movie doesn’t go there, but you want her to find happiness.

Jason Bateman also is wonderful doing his thing as straight man to her zany antics. His reactions make the jokes funnier and when he does snap to join the craziness it is always good. Though I about had a lawyer heart attack about some of his plans once I accepted the reality of the movie it was fun. This movie is basically a road trip film with these two characters getting to know each other better. These two actors made it a pleasure to watch.

I would recommend this movie as a good Friday night Redbox. At the end of a long week sometimes you just need to laugh at others misfortune.

I give this movie 4 out of 5 makeovers to wash the Florida out. * No offense to Florida but you know there are some truly unfortunate people coming out of your Walmarts.*

Force Watch: Simpsons: Much Apu About Nothing/ Halo Legends Origins Part I and II

Jmac:

So since we have had a lot going on lately we decided to make the Force Watch around 30 minutes. I picked Halo Legends Origins and Kmac picked a random episode from the Simpson’s early seasons. ‘Much Apu About Nothing’ just so happens to tie into the newest 4th of July release on the ‘Simpsons Tapped out’ game that we both play on our phones.

Much Apu About Nothing is about Apu gaining his citizenship after sensationalized news stories and usual Simpsons rabble rousing causes immigrants to be blamed for increased taxes...... hey that sounds exactly like what's happening right now in America with the whole “No Amnesty” “We hate any immigrants...(even though we won't pick our own fruit, and the ones that get in legally are generally much more intelligent than the bigots)”

Anyway I digress, Homer attempts to teach Apu about America so he will pass his citizenship test, and Homer like many simpletons in America completely has no idea about real US history.

Its a pretty funny episode, but the Right is more the brunt of the jokes, so its a more liberal Simpsons episode.

I give it 4.6 star spangled Ganeshas out of 5.

Kmac:

I used to watch Jmac play Halo after Geology class in college, or rather I used to nap while he played Halo after Geology class in college. Either way I was familiar enough with the game to know the main character, Master Chief, and that he communicated with a hologram. Oh, and there are aliens. Jmac has tried to get me to watch the Halo Origins before and now that he had a captive audience, he wanted me to  appreciate the backstory of his game.

I can’t say that I care more about the game now, but the two part cartoon series was not terrible. I enjoy history stories even if they are fake and I didn’t find knowledge about any other part of the series was at all necessary. The Halo Origins story speaks to the cyclical nature of history. In this universe many different races are threatened by an outside force and create super weapons, Halos, to destroy the evil and repopulate the planets. Because the weapons wipe out the intelligent beings, the different races are left to rebuild the knowledge base that made the weapons possible in the first place. I could care less about the other alien races but I thought the idea of man’s journey was interesting.

The origins story compares war to a virus that we are never able to shake. That we fight each other until there is a bigger threat and that once the bigger threat is gone we resume what we were doing. I kept trying to get Jmac to talk about these ideas with our own history. The story also speaks to man’s desire to explore first our world and then the stars. Again I wanted to talk about our own history. So I enjoyed the story by being a history nerd but I can’t say that it made me want to play the game.

I would say this is worth the twenty minute watch on youtube for the ideas it presents in relation to our actual history. The animation is well done and the voice acting is good. You don’t have to care about the game to enjoy this short.

I give Halo Origins 3 out of 5 existential questions.

Fourth of July Movie Countdown

The Fourth of July is great. We as Americans can celebrate our freedom, our culture, and our country. But it also occurs in July which can be quite the scorcher in the South where we live. Sometimes it is not feasible to go out and celebrate until the sun starts heading down. With that in mind whether you have friends over or want to veg out until the fireworks, we are doing a rundown of our top 5 favorite movies or series to make you go USA! USA!

Kmac’s Number 5:                Friday Night Lights

    Movie or television series, pick the tv series, there are few things more heartwarmingly American than High School football. If you have ever been on a field for the Star Spangle Banner this will tug at your patriotic tear ducts.

Kmac’s Number 4:                 Independence Day

     This action movie brings together the military and computer nerds together to take down an alien force. More than just being a movie about coming together as America it is about coming together as humanity.

Kmac’s Number 3:                Band of Brothers 

    This mini series may be too much for one day unless you marathon but you can still watch one or two as a reminder of all the sacrifice our armed service men have made for us.

Kmac’s Number 2:                Pocahontas

Jamestown was the earliest British Settlement that would last and mark the beginning

of the British Colonies that would form the basis of our nation. Though a cartoon this movie makes me take a pause for the beginnings of the melting pot that while not fair or equitable in historical execution, alludes to the concept of a nation of different people coming together.            

Kmac’s Number 1:                Apollo 13

    This is something I’m passionate about so buckle in for take off. When I was growing up there was nothing more engrossing and inspiring than our space program, this a good thirty years after we first landed on the moon. I debated including the HBO miniseries From the Earth to the Moon, or the movie The Right Stuff about the Mercury missions as examples but I settled on the movie I begged my parents to see, the one I watched on a field trip while playing Houston,, and the one that proves duct tape and ingenuity can save the day. This is a movie about a failure of mission but a triumph in the human spirit. For me I find that wars have brought out some of the best in our citizens but it was exploration and innovation that truly captured me. I hope children in the future see these movies and are inspired to seek even farther. If you want one movie to make you feel proud to be an American then all I have to say  is.. Go Flight... Go Flight... Apollo 13 You Are Clear For Launch.

Jmac’s Number 5:                 Forrest Gump

    A movie that deals with so many issues in American history over the past half century, with an amazing soundtrack, and beautiful shots of this great country.

Jmac’s Number 4:                 Pearl Harbor

    We all know the story or at least should, a story that shows the strength of American resolve to strike back at the Empire of Japan, even if it was only a pinprick.

Jmac’s Number 3:                 Independence Day

    We've all seen it, and while not just America fighting back against alien invaders, it has one of the most inspirational speeches about Independence Day of any movie.

Jmac’s Number 2:                 The Patriot 

    One of the better movie about the American Revolution, that shows how divided this country is, both then and now. Ending with the Battle of Cowpens, a sometimes graphically violent movie, but one that portrays the horrors of a revolutionary battlefield.

Jmac’s Number 1:                 An American Tale: Fievel Goes West

    A movie that a lot of people have not seen, that tells the tale of a little Jewish mouse that moves west, along with many other ethnicities in search of a better life, that only the American west could promise.

The Call

Kmac:

The Call is a straightforward thriller that is perfect as a simple summer watch and great to watch with company. I never intended to rent this movie. The plot, a 911 worker receives a call from a kidnapped girl and must find her in time to save her, seemed like a straightforward action thriller and one that I would half watch if Jmac insisted on seeing it. Who ended up insisting on seeing this movie was actually my sister, lets call her Kbowk, who was visiting us. Since she was our guest, and I can’t say no to her, I let her have her way and we all settled in to watch, though I kept my laptop open to surf the web if it was dull. I ended up just as engrossed as everyone else.

The people you watch movies with can make or break an experience for you. There are many comedies that are not funny if you watch them on your own but become classics when quoting them with friends. I probably would have half watched this movie if not for my sister. Her reactions to the suspense and sudden turns actually made the movie more suspenseful for me. This is pretty clever movie and following the action from the perspective of a 911 operator felt fresh. It is well acted with good turns from both Halle Berry and Abigail Breslin. It is what it aims to be, a thriller with enough jolts to keep you engaged. Be warned though, this is a movie that makes you want to yell at the TV. I would suggest not watching with people who tend to “Oh No” every time the hero is in trouble if you need a quiet environment.

On the whole I really liked this movie, with commentary I wish you could all hear from my sister, and would suggest it as a good Friday night movie. For those of you on dates this is definitely a cuddle movie for when it gets intense.

I give this movie 4 out of 5 “the killer is never really dead.”

Jmac:

Well I had not really wanted to see the movie but then my sister in law was in town and wanted to hang out and she wanted to watch the movie so thats what we decided on. Generally as a rule I'm not really into Halle Berry, not really on acting grounds, but mostly because of her outspoken messed up race relations thoughts, that usually serve to be more divisive than inclusive.

So anyway the movie was your straightforward thriller with a crazy bad guy, that was listening to Bush in the car, so everyone can now think people that listen to Bush are crazy; a young kidnapped girl (Abigail Breslin who is not so young anymore), and of course Halle Berry that is dealing with a traumatic event from her past work experience. Oh and Michael Imperioli (Christopher from The Sopranos) makes a brief appearance.

The action was pretty believable, and we were all saying what we thought Breslin was going to do next to save herself, which I was the most correct on, so my not so sure how well my wife or sister in law would react in that kind of situation.

Things get real in the end with Breslin being the real hero of the story, but I won't spoil the ending for you.

Overall you will enjoy watching the movie if thrillers are what you are into, not enjoy it so much that you should have seen it in the theatres, but enough to spend $1.25 at Redbox for it.

I give it 3.8 “that’s not Abigail Breslin, that girl has boobs” out of 5.