Gangster Squad

Jmac:

I went into this movie thinking that I would just be ok with it and have to tolerate Sean Penn. Well I was totally wrong. Although Sean Penn is billed as one of the main actors, and his presence is still onscreen plenty he is not the main character nor one of the more occurring characters. So that was a plus for me because I really really don't like him, and he generally brings movies down in my opinion. The rest of the cast Josh Brolin, Emma Stone, Giovanni Ribisi, Ryan Gosling and the others that are all very familiar faces, all do a wonderful job.

The plot centers around the Gangster Squad which is formed from guys from different police units that were not exactly golden boys and didn't mind getting their hands dirty if it meant bringing down a greater evil. That greater evil being Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) who ran LA mob operations for several years in the in the 40s and 50s after Bugsy Siegel was assassinated. I love this period in American history where anything seemed possible, as we were high from winning our second world war, and the Soviets still had not developed the Bomb. It was a time when the Mafia flourished and basically built Las Vegas from a small dam town into the city it is today. Mickey Cohen has always fascinated me as well, and was one of the things that drew me to the movie, because he worked with the mob in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas. Being part of the Jewish mafia truly was to be part of country spanning organization.  

While movie takes literary license with fact and fiction surrounding LA during those years there was a real ‘gangster squad’ and they were after Mickey Cohen, but they used their brains more than bullets. This is why Cohen was sent to prison for tax fraud and not murder, like many other famous gangsters, tax fraud is far easier to pin on someone like that than murder.

I would have watched a movie or even a documentary about the ‘gangster squad’ even if it had not been hollywood-ized, but with the short attention spans of today's spastic audiences you sort of have to blow something up or have a fight scene every twenty minutes or so. Which this movie does, but not so much that its a Michael Bay Transformers where you think your TV will literally explode if there is one more action sequence... don't get me wrong I like Transformers but it does get to be a bit much at times.

Well this movie has it all, scenic locations from around LA, beautiful dames in stunning gowns, that 50s accent that got passed down from the 30s like ‘ehhh copper, see, see now copper ya can't get me see’, oh and the cars, that is how an automobile is supposed to look, not the rounded packards, which are nice but the black and white convertible which for some reason my googling powers can not find was beautiful.

I give the movie 4.2 shotgun butts to the face out of 5. 

Why they picked Ryan Gosling for a part that was already played by Aaron Staton (Ken Cosgrove from Mad Men) in LA Noire is beyond me. 

Force Watch: The Pacific/Sugar and Spice

Kmac:  

This little experiment of ours in reviewing movies has brought out some repeating themes. I knew I had a type when it came to movies and things I watched out for but as I write these I realise some themes come back time and again. A big one is my general distaste for violence in movies. When I find a movie that is so good I look past the violence it is the exception and not the rule. I majored in History and so historical movies can either be done well or not but they hold few surprises. I knew that the Pacific was a horrifically violent theater of war in World War II. I knew that if the historical footage was hard for me to watch a more vivid recreation would be just as hard. I also knew I should watch it anyways, at least once.

My take on historical war dramas is usually the watch it once approach. I almost feel I owe it to the people who gave their lives not to turn away from the horrors they faced but be appreciative that they faced them. When Band of Brothers came out about the Eastern theatre in World War II I took this approach and to my surprise have watched it over and over again. The violence was no easier to watch, and granted I watch the non fighting episodes more than the others, but it was so well written and filmed that I keep coming back to it when I need to feel good about my country. The Pacific was produced by Steven Spielberg as well and while I’m glad I watched it I do not think I will be coming back to it the same way.

The Pacific was always going to have a different feel in that the war in the Pacific was different than the one in Europe fundamentally. The war in Europe was more what we expect when we envision war, two armies marching from opposite sides, exchanging fire, fortifying positions. The war in the Pacific is almost claustrophobic. Tiny islands of great value, men entrenched not in trenches but in caves and holes. It also was deadlier and these casualties are concentrated in small areas. The men’s eyes are more hollow, as it should be, but is incredibly difficult to watch.

The acting in this movie is great. The action follows three main characters so it is easier to get to know each one individually and see how the war changes them as it progresses. By the end of the series when the fighting stops you can breath again but you can still see the weight these men will continue to carry around. The actors do an excellent job of showing this to you.

Just watch this series. Force yourself if you have to. Don’t try and compare it to Band of Brothers because it is like apples and oranges. You will be glad you watched  in the end. I give The Pacific 4.5 out of 5 VJ Day celebrations.  

Jmac:

Ok so Kmac said she wanted to watch ‘Sugar and Spice’, and I really didn't want to and had given her the choice between ‘Generation Kill’ or ‘The Pacific’. So then she gave me the option of ‘Sugar and Spice’ or ‘Sister Act 1’, which we then started watching. About thirty minutes into it I could not take Whoopi Goldberg’s crappy acting, which I remembered was a big part of what I hated about Nickelodeon, I don't know why anyone ever though she could be a role model for children. So then we put in ‘Sugar and Spice’.

Sugar and Spice was actually much better than I had recalled it being. It has several actors that should be easily recognized if you have seen any 90s movie.

The plot centers around a squad of cheerleaders that decide to rob a bank for one reason or another, and all the hijinks that go into getting ready for the heist. One girl is knocked up, another needs to pay for Harvard, and another not in the squad just wants to be included, and serves as the narrator of the movie.

I give it 3.9 double twisting back flip dismounts out of 5.

Upside Down

Kmac:

The pretty visuals may be the only upside to this movie. Upside Down is a science fiction romance set in a world where two twin planets are so close to each other as to create gravitational fields that keep them on their planet while being able to see the other planets people whom to them are upside down. If you want to know the scientific specifics the entire opening of the movie is just laying out the rules of this specific gravity, what you can do and what you can’t. What I couldn’t do was care about this movie.

The plot of the movie is a typical love story. In these world the planet on the bottom has fallen into poverty after an explosion leaving the citizens on the top planet as their superiors. Wrong side of the tracks boy meets upper crust girl and fall in love. When done well this is still a great story but I never felt the love and attraction between these two characters. I told Jmac I wondered if the movie was based on a novel because it seemed like the characters were inner monologuing and maybe I would understand their attraction better if I could read their thoughts. The movie simply did not do a good enough job in explaining their story. It seemed much too focused on the science, even though the key to using the other planets gravity was magical pollen and bees.

The movie was pretty to look at, I will give it that. The computer renderings created a world that seemed real enough to touch as it mixed set pieces with green screen. The scene from the trailer involving the office where the two worlds meet, having built a tower that extends from one to the other, is truly stunning, though I kept thinking there is no way you could goof off at work with someone looking down at your screen all day. It is one of those movies where you have to look at it otherwise it is just soundtrack. Since I have entertainment ADD these movies work much less for me.

To me storytelling beats visuals every time. I give this movie 2 out of 5 gravity defying pancakes.

Jmac:

Upside Down was an extremely visual movie, with the driving force behind the main character’s actions being finding his long lost love, and one of the taglines being love can conquer gravity, or something stupid like that. (Spoiler and no surprise, science conquers gravity... go figure)

The main guy was the same one from that Beetles movie ‘Across the Universe’ who just has one of those faces that guys cannot get behind and only hipster girls would like... its hard to explain but he is just off putting. Also while Kirsten Dunst is the second most viewed character she is not on screen as much as the playbill would have lead you to believe, its mostly just the other tool.

As silly as the storyline was, the visuals were very interesting, but the novelty of two world right next to each other with the same atmosphere, (but different types of matter from each world that falls, up or down depending on your viewpoint, back to its source of origin if taken to the opposite world), fell away so to speak very quickly. You can only show so many shots of a city flipped above a city before you get used to it and then get to thinking about how bad the story line is.

They ended the movie on a really bad notion, which was (SPOILER... but you shouldn't care) the two get together have a kid. So after the police and evil company officials chasing them, having a kid is what makes the authorities not follow them anymore.... a really good message to babies having babies. “hey kids if you're down on your luck and want to change the world.... just knock someone up, love trumps everything.” What would have been interesting is if they didn't focus on the love aspect and focused on what should have been a revolutionary plot line to overthrow a corrupt corporation bleeding one world dry to greatly benefit the other... much like our current world but we all have the same gravity.

I give it 1.4 “man there is something skeevy about that guy’s face”s out of 5.

Away from the Desk

Sorry about the lack of posts or missing Girls Watch and Force Watch Wednesday. I have been on a business trip for the past week.

Pass the Controller: Fable III

Pass The Controller: Fable III

Watching Jmac play video games the past few years it has been interesting to see how much story development has changed. I’m not trying to make assumptions, because I know a lot of girls who game, but it seems like most women I know are in the casual gamer camp. I have always loved video games but I picked Mario over Mortal Combat. Not exactly riveting storytelling. Even Zelda, which early on introduced plot driven gaming, took me awhile to come around to because I couldn’t kill the bad guy by jumping on his head or running underneath. So when Jmac downloaded Fable III I didn’t think I would be taking part. But boredom and procrastination came together one day and convinced me to give it a try. I was pleased to find a game more complex than my side scrollers but  easy enough I couldn’t wait for Jmac to pass the controller.

The action in Fable III takes place in a fantasy kingdom on the verge of revolt. As the princess or prince of this kingdom you must help the people and protect them from a growing darkness. This is all pretty normal, what makes Fable special is that you have to make hard decisions along the way. What you decide affects what others think of you and how your kingdom progresses. If you like your games with a heaping helping of moral quandary then this may be the game for you. It is simple fantasy storytelling but the decision making and freedom to create your future makes you feel more engaged. There is a true evil in this game that serves as a main protagonist but everyone else comes in varying shades of grey. There is no information button that shows you a person’s character. Like in life you have to make choices and assumptions based on what you can see or are told. Over time you get to know the characters and settings well. This isn’t a game you can finish in a day. The plot is revealed slowly so you can appreciate how it comes together. It is like a television show that you can control.

My main hesitancy when playing games is I like to know if I will be good at it. I have never had much patience for the Call of Duty style shoot em ups because I just can’t work the system. The Xbox joystick system of moving with one and turning your head with the other is a level of dexterity my old softball teammates can vouch for me not having. After having this system for six years I am just now adequate. What I liked about Fable is that it takes this into account. The fighting moves take place by pressing the four buttons on the controller and not pulling the triggers. It makes it feel more familiar. While you do turn the view with the right joystick, you are not in first person mode so the camera will follow you even if you forget to turn. You can see all around you until you remember to swing it around. During combat you can also mix and match weapons and magic with good old fashioned running and dodging. Health can be regained by simply not getting hit for a while and there is no magic counter to worry about so you can just zap away. Jmac laughed at me for rolling constantly in battle but I got the achievement for never being knocked down and he didn’t. Every Donkey Kong master knows the secret to success is in the rolling.

The world in this game is certainly vast but the game provides a gold path you can follow from quest to quest. I liked this feature as no matter how many times Jmac tells me to just use the compass on some of these vast world games I always end up lost. I really am not portraying women gamers that well. There is treasure and rewards for going off the beaten path but I never felt too penalised for not straying that far. I managed to find just enough treasure and buy just enough real estate to have what I needed to push the final ending I wanted. If you like to collect every legendary weapon or rare jewel then you can explore, but if you just want to play the game you are not at a severe disadvantage. I will say it is fun to collect a little extra to customise your characters look and clothes. The first outfits and hairstyles were hideous. Would it be practical to fight in the dress I ended up with? Maybe not. Did I enjoy shooting skeletons while my tulle rustled? Absolutely.

I would suggest this title to anyone who considers themselves a casual gamer. It requires you to learn some new skills but is not so difficult it can’t be picked up. The violence is graphic in a cartoonish way that didn’t bother me too bad. Overall this is just a fun game with a good story.

I give this game 4.5 out of 5 “Wait your turn, I’m playing now.”

The Good Shepherd

Jmac:

Ok let me preface this review with the thought that while in today’s times the CIA is looked at as a great evil. I would challenge this with the notion that while they do not carry out the most savory of tasks the men and women that work their do it for the greater good, and while they are in the spotlight, at this point in time the CIA is almost a puppet of the executive branch because their jobs depend on it... whether Republican or Democrat, and while Congress holds the power of the purse, the CIA’s budget is still black and Congress votes on it essentially blind.... if you have a dispute with them take it up with the executive branch... the vast majority of the CIA wants only to provide their country and their countries leaders with up to date and adequate assessments of the world today... they would rather leave politics out of the equation............ sadly we live in the real world.

Alright now on to the movie review.

While I love the subject matter (the beginnings of the CIA into the 60s) I still watch it sometimes to go to sleep, but please don't let that take anything away from it. While it is a slow movie, I was enthralled the first few times I watched it, and it continues to hold up. I totally recommend watching this movie at least once.

The story follows Matt Damon’s character through his recruitment in grad school to his case officership after the Bay of Pigs, with intrigue and trills throughout. Many believe this character is based around famed spy and traitor catcher James Jesus Angleton.

While there is plenty of literary license used, and this should in no way be seen as an actual history of the early years of the CIA (note to lazy social studies teachers.... plus there is nudity). The movie was however assisted by the CIA’s own history department and while not totally historical, it has plenty of real people in it and actual historical events.

One of the main stories follows not the history of the Agency, but the story of a father and a son, which we all know can be strained at times, even when both are giving their all..... such is the nature of male interactions.

The costume department and the sound department did amazing jobs in this movie. So amazing in fact that I know my grandpa still has the same gray and black coat that Damon wears, from his days in the FBI. Its sad that our intel and crime fighting agencies no longer wear three piece suits and hats. Now-a-days only douche hipsters that used to be goths that are looking for some place to call their own can really wear fedoras and suits....... America has truly lost its sense of style and dignity.... but I blame the dignity on the partisanship, shame on people trying to divide us.

Anyway the movie addresses plenty of Cold War scenarios, from LSD interrogations, strained family relations from spending too long away, even Santa Claus frightening you because your father was never around, to agents body parts being sent to you because they let loose too much information about themselves.

All In all, I really don't want to give away any spoilers on this one because frankly that's what really holds the movie together for those that don't love the subject matter. So please watch this movie and don't use it or any other news articles to judge the people that currently work for the CIA. No matter what party is currently in control, they really have your best interests at heart.

I give The Good Shepherd 3.8 whispered secrets out of 5.

Force Watch: Hostel Part 1 and The Secret Garden

Kmac:

So part of why Force Watch is late this week is that I was really dragging my feet about watching Hostel. I have had a non negotiable ban on horror movies since a particularly traumatizing run during my Middle School years at slumber parties. I figured that Hostel would be nothing but gratuitous nudity, gratuitous violence, and that I wouldn’t sleep for a week. Two out of Three.

The nudity in this movie is insane. For the first hour or so there is no violence. I’m not prudish but the amount of boobs were senseless. And they were always there lurking in the background even if not the focus of the scene. That is the real stalker of this movie. I’m surprised I didn’t have nightmare about two double D’s following me everywhere. I imagine even teenage boys have to be like, “ehh it’s a little much.”

The violence actually didn’t bother me. Maybe it seems faker as an adult. Possibly it lacks the scream actor of a room full of thirteen year old girls. Or maybe I am just getting desensitized to movie violence. The action takes place inside a Hostel in Bratislava that caters to business men wanting a “The Most Dangerous Game” experience without the hunt. I guess the draw is that you get to watch how people chose to torture each other. I don’t get it. This did help add fuel to my Eastern Europe will definitely kill you argument. If you like gore with no substance then this might be for you. But if you are expecting legitimate scares this will leave you cold.

I give this movie 1 out of 5 for the escape sequence that made me care about the movie for about five minutes.

**Here is a tip: If you want a movie about crazy kids backpacking across the pond rent Eurotrip. It is a comedy and a vastly superior movie.  

Jmac:

The Secret Garden was ok I guess... I felt it was entirely too slow to hold modern child audiences... maybe that says something about our times. That being said, while I had seen it before as a kid, it was not the utter bore that I thought it would be as an adult... at least until the end.. it tends to slow down a bit.

The true star of the movie is the garden itself with its seemingly magical ability to bring together would be enemies and reunite torn families. I was far more interested in the plants and animals in the garden than the characters themselves... though the girl grows up to be pretty good looking... not that big of an acting career thought.

The movie in typical 90’s fashion tries to teach the viewer about things such as whick.. which I was always told was quick (the green in a plant's stem or branch to show that although it appears dead it is still alive, waiting to bloom).

The story follows that of a little now semi aristocratic girl who is forced to move to her uncle’s estate in England after her parent’s die in India... from what seems like an elephant stampede.. its not really clear. From her uncle’s estate she starts work on her dead aunt’s secret garden and in so doing she mends her relationship to the outside world and the relationship between her uncle and her cousin.

If not for the bits of boredom and the length of the movie I give it 3.1 bunnies somehow playing with deer out of 5.

PS: The kids should really enjoy this one if only they have the ability to sit through it.

Sorry its late.... had a lot of work for the real job.

Oz the Great and Powerful

Kmac:

Pay no attention to the movie about the man behind the curtain. I was sorely disappointed by this interpretation of the OZ mythology. I was expecting a version to expand the OZ of the books, the China Doll land especially, and while the movie paid lip service to many aspects of the books it felt rushed. This was yet another movie where CGI was given reign over plot and dialogue.

The CGI was meant to be the centerpiece of the movie in the same way that another Disney remake, Alice and Wonderland, used it to expand a fantasy world. I don’t know if the difference was in budget or in tone but the effects here were much cruder and unfinished. It was Tim Burton light. I talked a lot to Jmac about the big color reveal. In the original version when Judy Garland’s Dorothy opens her door to find a world filled with color it creates a sense of wonderment. This movie slides from a sepia colored bland carnival, to an unnaturally colored video game so fast I found myself letting out the anticipatory breath I had been holding in frustration. Maybe the wizard is amazed at the sudden color change but the audience is left out of the magic.

I talk a lot about “Can I touch it?” realities in movies. It’s my test for whether a movie is too CGI heavy. I find I can’t let go of my disbelief and surrender myself to a fantasy world unless I feel I can physically reach out and touch the objects in the world. Peter Jackson caters to my worldview by mixing physical props with well done CGI. This movie had nothing I felt I could reach out and touch. It would have been cheaper and more effective to throw some prop flowers in the mix to create some semblance of reality. If it could be done in 1939, it can be done now. One character I did like was the monkey companion. Not that the CGI was great but the character was voiced by Zach Braff and I find his voice amusing. Your mileage may vary based on your love or loathing  of Scrubs.

The movie seemed to want to set up a twist about who the bad and good witches were. This may have been more effective for people who have never seen the original movie, but if you have seen it, then it takes all of five seconds to place your bets. Even Jmac figured it out eventually. I will give the movie credit for including clues, even great big flashing ones, that tied back to the original film or book. It also provided a distraction from the fact I could care less about the main character. And the twist as to why the Witch of the West is evil was just terrible. This back story has been done before and better, most notably in the book and musical Wicked. I won’t spoil her evil transition but let me say that anyone who grew up in the girl power boom of the nineties will want to throw your own evil curses at the tv.

This movie was cliched and lacked an understanding of what makes Oz the magical place that has captured the imagination of generations. If the Wizard of Oz is great because of the Wonderful things he does, then this Wizard is Oz the Meh and Ok.

I give this movie 2.5 out of 5 winged monkey nightmares.

*While the new winged monkeys look like actual monkeys and have sharp fangs, they are in no way as nightmare inducing as the people in monkey suits. If I can’t touch it, it can’t touch me.

Jmac:

I have to say I actually enjoyed this one, if for no other reason than Zach Braff’s portrayal of a monkey, which is a roll he plays perfectly. I'm not being sarcastic his monkey was very good, and his human character’s facial expressions could have made a crowd of deaf mutes laugh, yes the mutes would be laughing.

I never really was into the Wizard of Oz, and have only watched it at the behest of others..... namely Kmac, but Oz the Great and Powerful provides a lot of back story, which frankly was lacking from the original Wizard of Oz. I know the books filled in a whole lot more of the story lines than the movies, but who has time to read. For instance I had no idea there were witches from all the different directions on a map, or maybe I really wasn't paying that much attention to the Wizard of Oz. The expansion of types of people in the Oz world added a lot to my personal enjoyment of the film because I knew there could not just but munchkins and regular size people... now all we have to is a Skyrim mod out for this so I can put an arrow through a flying monkey... oh wait I can't because you don't kill anything in Oz... makes no sense.

Anyway all the witches played by Rachel Weisz, Mila Kunis, and Michelle Williams all did wonderful jobs and were super hot. I was asking Kmac who the hot blond was, when she said Michelle Williams, I was like whattt, that is not the same girl from Dawson’s Creek, but the bubbles kind of lame.

So for someone that hated the original, I actually liked this one... it was probably the lack of musical number because when they try to start into one Franco yells No several times.... God bless him for that.

So I give Oz the Great and Powerful 3.8 midgets in a duster out of 5.

Side Effects

Side Effects is a thriller full of intrigue and deceit, but a slow one at that. It follows the path of a mental patient, two psychiatrists, and the courts. One day the mental patient (Rooney Mara) accidentally murders her husband, while on a new drug for depression. It is at this point that the evil pharmaceutical corporation steps in to cover its back and push blame elsewhere..... or does it.

One of the psychiatrists is Jude Law, which I normally loathe, but he did an alright job in this one. The other psychiatrist is Catherine Zeta Jones, who doesnt show up all that much in the movie is still integral to the plot and also does a decent job acting.

Working in the pharmaceutical industry there are several things that I said “woah thats not how any of that works”, but my insights into these matters would be far too boring for you, as they don't really add or subtract from the plot of the movie.

There is definitely a few twists and turns, some large, some small, but overall the movie didn't really hold my attention the way a good mystery/wrongfully accused/thriller should.

So I give it 2.2 you're going to get throat cancer from thats out of 5...... Ha Ha see what I did there.

I'm just glad this was from a free Redbox code.

Bullet Points: Fun Size

So we didn't want to actually review ‘Fun Size’ so this is our first installment of Bullet points, where we basically live tweet the movie with our musings.

K:This movie wants us to care about a very pretty girl wanting to get into a high school party and NYU. She is PRETTY! She is definitely getting into that party. As for NYU... her mother is Chelsea Handler. Who knows what gin soaked genes she has.

J: And why is here mom sending off her NYU student aid form.. you send that to FAFSA... some high school should teach these kids, and its not her parents responsibility to pay for college.

K:Actually now she is awkwardly white rapping science. I get the party exclusion now.  

J: why is the guys first name roosevelt?!!? Also Ruth Bader Ginsberg.... the most referenced judge. Oh God no rapping.

K:Her slutty friend seems very excited to go to this party. She thinks this party may be great because a douche in a convertible wants to sing her a song. He is going dressed as Johnny Depp to the Halloween party. WTF?

J: Another Ginsberg reference.... what did the woman do to the writers!!! And this kid needs a spanking, he has literally messed up everything he has touched.

K: She chooses Dorothy for her costume. I think it is supposed to symbolise her innocence.

J:Is that a R Kelly Pee joke.....

K: Her mom just threatened to withhold student aid if she didn’t babysit. What kind of you need to call child services now girl bull is this.

J:Does Cleveland really love the Indians so much that there memorabilia is everywhere.

K: That is some solid friendship if her BFF will trick or treat with her instead of being a trick and getting her treats.

J: Is this the new way that corps are trying to educate the young dumb masses?

K: This Nickelodeon movie is laying some 90’s style learning on the kids. You go modern education techniques. They have to learn about Aaron Burr somewhere.

J: UMMMM ummm uhun oh no you do not jump out at someone with knitting needles drawn in haunted house...... OH SNAP pedofile....

K: She is clearly screaming for a lost child and no adults blink an eye. It takes a village...

J: Parents don't give a damn on Halloween.... I mean... razor blades in apples

K: The man child Chelsea Handler is dating is supposed to be 26. At 27 I feel old...and gross.

J: Funniest part of movie is the quickie mart guy, why he befriends a kid who should clearly be under supervision is beyond me. PS: Chelsea Handler is just the worst!

K: This little kid is cracking me up. He never says a word and I should be worried about his mental state. Also they just made a joke about mainlining sugar... always need a good drug joke in a kids movie. Isn’t that what Alice in Wonderland was, a drug joke of a kids movie. : )

J: Child onset Diabeetus!

K:Modern world alert. You can’t make friends with a child without making it clear you are not an amber alert.

J:Nair out your butt what kind of partayyyy does she think this is?

K: OMG nair on the downstairs is the worst. Not a children’s movie subject but preach sister.  

J: It is all over the floor sir, control yourself.

K:This movie is full of innuendos that are funny but not quite kids movie material.

J: Wow redheads with a bunch of eye makeup look GHASTLYYY.

K: Lesbian moms. How new normal. They are clearly more functional than the promiscuous girls mom. Trashy mom= trashy daughter. How original.

J: Most inept cop ever... who doesn't see smoke coming out a window? And a Samoan beating the crap out of someone...

K:I’m worried this child is not getting the help he needs. He is clearly autistic or something.

J: I want to eat at Capt Chicken. and ummm lesbian doctoral people are not listening to christian music.

K: Poor nerdy love interest. I hope you best the hot guy in the end.

J: I like brownies...

K: Ms. Handler acting like she doesn't want a shot may be the worst acting I have ever seen.

J: LOLZ chicken humping a car joke

K: What’s with all the jokes about easy listening and musicals. It’s not nerdy.... Also there is a funny negotiation about boob touching. It just felt true to life.

J: sooo just like all guys that drive big souped up trucks he is compensating for something and he loves his buddy too much..?

K: That little kid is in a club now. Lawsuit and loss of liquor license even if he doesn’t drink.

J: They are teaching children to take shots to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch that none of the kids watching this movie would know about..... terrible

K: Fifty Shades of Grey? I guess WASPs have to shake it up somehow.

J: Can we stop the fifty shades of grey twilight porn fad... maybe just learn for yourself... unenlightened masses.

K: “Ever since you left I’ve been roommates with my sadness.” Both funny and an emo status update.

J: All these “adults” are very unconcerned a kid is running around with them

K:Why are they trying to get real about single motherhood and widows at the end? It just seems out of place. More humping jokes!

J: ummm I would imagine Johnny Knoxville could drive drunk a little better than that, he has years of experience

K:Comparing a girl to a Supreme Court judge is the way to a nerdy lady’s heart. Hear that fellas?

J: Since I heard it on the Kidd Kratick show.... has wilmer valderrama gotten that yet?

K: “You’re my best friend Boo.” Shout out to my sister. Also do people still call each other Boo?

J Meow sexy kitty.

K: And the hot girl (SPOILER!!!) chases the nerd. Duckies revenge is complete. Don’t worry Aaron Riley there are plenty of social climbers left to kiss.

J: WTF was the significance of taking off her hair ribbon?

K: Umm that she will take off anything to get her brother back. Duh Jmac.

J: Bah Dum Dum. And Johnny Knoxville will take that...

K: I know she is not really trading her body but way to make it seem like it KIDS movie.

J: HOLY CRAP she really will take it off for her brother!!!!

K:Lesbians looming an OBama tapestry. Hilarious!

J: NO just no.

K: You’re right it is too cliched.

J: The Linger On song sounds good

K:This movie just choked me up with the little boys talking finally at his fathers grave. Then Ahh! a Hag!... I mean Chelsea Handler.

J: It is NEVER that bright at 5:30 in the morning!

K: It’s always great to make memorable first impression on your crush’s mom.

J: What kind of sex act is shooting another mans drum stick... says the mom

K: Awww. The main nerd character and his best friend nerd found love.

J: I wonder if he got in the nair...?

K: The little brother is a little punk....so awesome!

J: What.......? Why do they always pick on Indians...

J: So I give it 2.5 Nerds not matching up with smoking hotties out of 5.

K: I give it 4 out of 5 90’s teen movie rhythms.