Bullet Points: Fun Size

So we didn't want to actually review ‘Fun Size’ so this is our first installment of Bullet points, where we basically live tweet the movie with our musings.

K:This movie wants us to care about a very pretty girl wanting to get into a high school party and NYU. She is PRETTY! She is definitely getting into that party. As for NYU... her mother is Chelsea Handler. Who knows what gin soaked genes she has.

J: And why is here mom sending off her NYU student aid form.. you send that to FAFSA... some high school should teach these kids, and its not her parents responsibility to pay for college.

K:Actually now she is awkwardly white rapping science. I get the party exclusion now.  

J: why is the guys first name roosevelt?!!? Also Ruth Bader Ginsberg.... the most referenced judge. Oh God no rapping.

K:Her slutty friend seems very excited to go to this party. She thinks this party may be great because a douche in a convertible wants to sing her a song. He is going dressed as Johnny Depp to the Halloween party. WTF?

J: Another Ginsberg reference.... what did the woman do to the writers!!! And this kid needs a spanking, he has literally messed up everything he has touched.

K: She chooses Dorothy for her costume. I think it is supposed to symbolise her innocence.

J:Is that a R Kelly Pee joke.....

K: Her mom just threatened to withhold student aid if she didn’t babysit. What kind of you need to call child services now girl bull is this.

J:Does Cleveland really love the Indians so much that there memorabilia is everywhere.

K: That is some solid friendship if her BFF will trick or treat with her instead of being a trick and getting her treats.

J: Is this the new way that corps are trying to educate the young dumb masses?

K: This Nickelodeon movie is laying some 90’s style learning on the kids. You go modern education techniques. They have to learn about Aaron Burr somewhere.

J: UMMMM ummm uhun oh no you do not jump out at someone with knitting needles drawn in haunted house...... OH SNAP pedofile....

K: She is clearly screaming for a lost child and no adults blink an eye. It takes a village...

J: Parents don't give a damn on Halloween.... I mean... razor blades in apples

K: The man child Chelsea Handler is dating is supposed to be 26. At 27 I feel old...and gross.

J: Funniest part of movie is the quickie mart guy, why he befriends a kid who should clearly be under supervision is beyond me. PS: Chelsea Handler is just the worst!

K: This little kid is cracking me up. He never says a word and I should be worried about his mental state. Also they just made a joke about mainlining sugar... always need a good drug joke in a kids movie. Isn’t that what Alice in Wonderland was, a drug joke of a kids movie. : )

J: Child onset Diabeetus!

K:Modern world alert. You can’t make friends with a child without making it clear you are not an amber alert.

J:Nair out your butt what kind of partayyyy does she think this is?

K: OMG nair on the downstairs is the worst. Not a children’s movie subject but preach sister.  

J: It is all over the floor sir, control yourself.

K:This movie is full of innuendos that are funny but not quite kids movie material.

J: Wow redheads with a bunch of eye makeup look GHASTLYYY.

K: Lesbian moms. How new normal. They are clearly more functional than the promiscuous girls mom. Trashy mom= trashy daughter. How original.

J: Most inept cop ever... who doesn't see smoke coming out a window? And a Samoan beating the crap out of someone...

K:I’m worried this child is not getting the help he needs. He is clearly autistic or something.

J: I want to eat at Capt Chicken. and ummm lesbian doctoral people are not listening to christian music.

K: Poor nerdy love interest. I hope you best the hot guy in the end.

J: I like brownies...

K: Ms. Handler acting like she doesn't want a shot may be the worst acting I have ever seen.

J: LOLZ chicken humping a car joke

K: What’s with all the jokes about easy listening and musicals. It’s not nerdy.... Also there is a funny negotiation about boob touching. It just felt true to life.

J: sooo just like all guys that drive big souped up trucks he is compensating for something and he loves his buddy too much..?

K: That little kid is in a club now. Lawsuit and loss of liquor license even if he doesn’t drink.

J: They are teaching children to take shots to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch that none of the kids watching this movie would know about..... terrible

K: Fifty Shades of Grey? I guess WASPs have to shake it up somehow.

J: Can we stop the fifty shades of grey twilight porn fad... maybe just learn for yourself... unenlightened masses.

K: “Ever since you left I’ve been roommates with my sadness.” Both funny and an emo status update.

J: All these “adults” are very unconcerned a kid is running around with them

K:Why are they trying to get real about single motherhood and widows at the end? It just seems out of place. More humping jokes!

J: ummm I would imagine Johnny Knoxville could drive drunk a little better than that, he has years of experience

K:Comparing a girl to a Supreme Court judge is the way to a nerdy lady’s heart. Hear that fellas?

J: Since I heard it on the Kidd Kratick show.... has wilmer valderrama gotten that yet?

K: “You’re my best friend Boo.” Shout out to my sister. Also do people still call each other Boo?

J Meow sexy kitty.

K: And the hot girl (SPOILER!!!) chases the nerd. Duckies revenge is complete. Don’t worry Aaron Riley there are plenty of social climbers left to kiss.

J: WTF was the significance of taking off her hair ribbon?

K: Umm that she will take off anything to get her brother back. Duh Jmac.

J: Bah Dum Dum. And Johnny Knoxville will take that...

K: I know she is not really trading her body but way to make it seem like it KIDS movie.

J: HOLY CRAP she really will take it off for her brother!!!!

K:Lesbians looming an OBama tapestry. Hilarious!

J: NO just no.

K: You’re right it is too cliched.

J: The Linger On song sounds good

K:This movie just choked me up with the little boys talking finally at his fathers grave. Then Ahh! a Hag!... I mean Chelsea Handler.

J: It is NEVER that bright at 5:30 in the morning!

K: It’s always great to make memorable first impression on your crush’s mom.

J: What kind of sex act is shooting another mans drum stick... says the mom

K: Awww. The main nerd character and his best friend nerd found love.

J: I wonder if he got in the nair...?

K: The little brother is a little punk....so awesome!

J: What.......? Why do they always pick on Indians...

J: So I give it 2.5 Nerds not matching up with smoking hotties out of 5.

K: I give it 4 out of 5 90’s teen movie rhythms.