The Art of Date Night

The Art of Date Night: A Study in Trickery

Date Night is a well established tradition meant to allow couples a time to just spend time together. It is also a study in human behavior that tends to bring out our true personalities. Pushovers let someone else pick the movie, bullies demand their own way, and in my case trickery reigns supreme. I’ll save Jmac’s behavior for another post but I wanted to turn the camera inwards and examine my movie picking behavior. I didn’t like what I saw necessarily but then again I really wanted to see What’s Your Number. Here is my strategy.

1. Promises, Promises: You have wanted to go see a movie and have a nice dinner for a while. He has finally promised you will go. Success! Your nagging has worked. You may have also promised some favors when you get back home. Don’t worry. These may or may not be followed through with based on your mood and how much he complains about your movie in the car.

2. Keep Them Guessing: There is no need to play your hand too early. When he asks what you are seeing just be coy or say you don’t know yet. You know. Oh boy do you know. But any hints towards where this is heading may result in him breaking his promise, fallout be darned. Wait till he is in the car and far enough from the house there is no turning back. Then you can drop the bomb.

3. Play With Technicalities:  Is he worried about run time? The movie is an hourish. That could be an hour and five minutes or an hour and fifty. Worried about the chick flick genre? This Means War is a spy movie, and Runaway Bride a small town comedy. After all a Rom Com is a romantic comedy. Just leave off the first word and make him think it’s an Adam Sandler Flick.

4. Buy The Tickets: You are at the theatre and he may or may not have caught on yet. Either way buy the tickets, it is after all your movie. He paid for you to see whatever action piece of explosion garbage he was into a few weeks ago. If he doesn’t know what you are seeing, it is too late, the tickets are purchased. If he has agreed then at least he can be soothed it is not his hard earned money propping up Katherine Heigl's career. Bonus points if you buy him food. Few theatre fights can’t be smoothed over with some nachos and Sour Patch Kids.

5. Flattery Gets You Everywhere: The movie is over and if the complaining is going to start, it is coming now. Don’t give him the chance. Complement his great behavior, how wonderful he is, how happy you are. He will look like a real monster if he pops your post movie happy bubble. He knows you are going to tell your friends if he does.  

6. Reinforce The Behavior: If he is good and doesn’t gripe it may be time for a reward. Maybe you watch the last half of the game with him or don’t complain if he drops his shoes by the door. You can figure out what is most effective, no judgement here. You just want to reinforce that letting you have your way is a good thing. Similarly if he acts like a toddler having a tantrum, treat him like one. Next time you go to the movies he will know what his behavior will earn him.

So that is my go to strategy. I used chick flicks as an example familiar to gender norms, but I have also used this strategy for indies, period dramas, and children’s films. It’s about whatever you like that the other person doesn’t. I’m sure there are some men who pull this stunt for their movies whether it be horror or their own love of movies of the romantic nature. It’s not pretty but it gets the job done. Do you have any strategies for Date Night? Do you eschew trickery for reason, or bribery? Are you just a good person who doesn’t understand this at all? Please share in the comments below. If Jmac doesn’t read them, I just may get a new weapon.